Now What?

24 years ago hubby's cousin lived with us the first summer after our eldest was born. She'd come home at 3am after work and I'd be up nursing or simply rocking. Eldest didn't sleep much. Cousin and I would have these rambling late night talks that I see as the start of our friendship. 

I remember her calling me in a bit of a panic, wondering if she was doing the right thing. At the time she was mid pregnancy with her first child and was panicking with the thought of staying home. She had been working for years and didn't like the idea of "living off" her then boyfriend (later, husband). She had called me because I was a stay at home mom with two kids and she wanted to know how I had dealt with the change.

I remember her eldest never wanting to wear clothes and how her dogs were really just more kids, but with better manners. ;-) I remember the first time we looked after the eldest three for an evening, so she and her hubby could go out for the first time since kids. And how her 1 1/2 year old son cried for 3 hours because he wanted his mom. 

I remember how over the last few years I had developed a habit of stopping in for tea after work on Fridays. We'd sit around the table visiting with the kids and each other. I miss this.

I remember how her health started getting strange, the changing symptoms, the endless tests, the depression. How her eldest daughter stepped up to the plate, wrangling her 3 younger siblings, driving her mom to appointments, trying to help. I remember how some many people stepped up to help out. 

Now she's reached a critical point. Her husband, children, mother, and siblings are with her at the hospital. There are friends and extended family there too. Hubby & I have discussed going in to see her but there is so many people there already. We are helping by staying home, looking after her dog, watching her house, supporting the friends who have supported her over this long year.

If she makes it through, if she comes home, things will never be the same. New relationships have been forged. New strengths have been found. People have been changed. Relationships have been changed. We have been changed.

Hope and the knowledge that if anyone can make it through this crisis it is her, help keep me going.